IN THE HOUSE AGAIN

Damn, it’s been a minute since I took it old school & broke out the notepad & just vented like it’s nobody’s business. Sad to say, I’ve needed to do this for quite some time. Anyways, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve seen that my fatigue is beginning to catch up to me. The grind has been enough excitement for me to be quite honest. Going through each day never knowing what to expect makes it even more worthwhile in the long haul. If you think for the first second I can put all of this shit in my life together, then you’re dead-ass wrong. There are some things I wish could just easily flow together w/ no problem, while there’s some of it that’s just not gonna seem or feel right no matter what I try to do differently. The times when I think I’ve got the green light, I seriously need to look up & see that yellow light telling me to slow my ass down. I’m too stubborn for my own damn good. As always, it goes back to the main culprits & the reason I’m here…my mother & father. Just like I have my father’s heart, I sometimes seem to gain his stubbornness is a way that is just indescribable. I know there’s no one to blame but myself for the wrong that I do, but I really wish I could avoid the finger-pointing altogether. However, we all know that’s not gonna happen. Now, I’ve seen people put the blame on themselves EVEN when they aren’t in the wrong. You can’t control the actions of others, because controlling yourself is already a tall order to fill. You are sometimes forced to look @ certain circumstances from the big picture POV, & that’s normally where things have been known to be challenging.

Well, I hope that everyone has enjoyed these words, because whenever I flow, I try to let it flow from my mind & solely from my heart. That’s challenging at times, but it’s not all that bad if you think about it. Hope to re-gain my readers again . Peace peace.

So over the past few months, I’ve started to compile thoughts how much of a toll it’s become to give myself to others & have nothing to show for it. Don’t get me wrong, I get/gain from most of it, but I guess as of late, I’m feeling the furn of it. For example (and this may sound petty) but trying to show friends love or attention on either Facebook or Twitter (and even my true/real friends), I almost feel like someone becomes neglected in the end. Being a people please is IMPOSSIBLE. that’s the best way to put it…spreading myself thin is a challenge, & it becomes once I make it one. I know that most of my friends understand that I have quite a few things going on in my own life that I’m trying to deal with, but sometimes, I just want to make sure that most of my true friends understand that I know that they have been there through my best of times & even my worst of times. I wish there was really more I could write in this one, but I think I mainly summed it up in this blog. I have another quick one to post, but as always, all comments are welcome.

Looks like I have a blog/topic that has really caught my eye from working @ the U (yes I’ve learned my lesson this time). Anyways, I feel that a unique pattern that’s come up is the way guys approach woman AMAZES & sickens me all in one. One of my co-workers made a comment that purely sums it up…men (and also women) come @ their “prey” one of two ways…either a wolf or the lamb. One thing I can say is that the way you see yourself & the way others see you are gonna be completely different. It’s a natural fact. For example (no help from the audience), I claimed myself to be 90% lamb & 10% wolf. Now, a lot of people who think they know me or REALLY do know me might have other thoughts, but I am the type of guy who doesn’t try to be aggressive if I can help it. I’ve seen the all-wolf, & I’ll admit that fellas, I respect your approach, but LADIES, be real, are you really into a guy who’s throwing all of his tricks @ you early? Think about it like this…if you see his full presentation NOW, what do you have to look forward to in the future? It’s a Catch 22 to it if you wanna be honest. This blog is gonna be tough, but I think I may be able to get through it. I initially went on Facebook & Twitter trying to find the answers from men (and women) about how much wolf & lamb they are. I got a ram from one of the fellas & it gave it a lil’ flair when writing, but I can see that the safest & simplest way to hit this one is by comin’ @ it from the guys POV (since I am a guy). As you read this, you’ll see that who you think you are might change…there’s no clear telling.

OK, I guess since I didn’t clearly give the comparison of the lamb’s approach vs. the wolf’s demeanor. Well, in a nutshell, the lamb is pretty laid-back and isn’t gonna talk to every woman that comes past her. He will let that one that he’s really into know what’s up, but it won’t be out the route to the point of a wolf. The wolf, however, is gonna holla @ every single fly fine fox that comes across her. Now, I didn’t realize how much I would delve into the zoo & all of these animals lol. Anyways, some of the girls like the wolf when he’s aggressive and assertive. The consistency is what becomes the x-factor for the ladies. If he tried all of these moves on you now, will he keep doing those things to wow you once he has you. There’s no need denying that women like someone who’s consistent & persistent in what they’re trying to do. The originality factor plays into it too. I just know that me personally I don’t have much of a demanding and pushing approach. I’m always gonna sit in the back and just watch and when I feel the time is right, I will slowly come correct & get to know her better. Most of the time, I will be strong w/ it depending on the crowd. My comfort plays a key role into it. Anyways, I know that women sometimes want a man to make it clear how he feels. If I’m either buying drinks or enjoying your company, then that should mean something. Hell, if I even buy your cigs or whatev, then that should give me some kudos of some sort. Many people have been trying to find out why I’m single and what happened. Well, that’s a conversation that won’t be exploited in this blog, because I’m not the type to expose business on Facebook or Twitter, because drama doesn’t sit well with me. OH, & here’s the key element to all of that wolf-preying and whatnot. When guys do this, it’s female management (or pussy management…sorry for the realness). Guys who go this route are trying to give each girl their attention or their proper smashing or touching. Then, when it comes to the lamb, he’s gonna give the effort to solely one woman. There may be others, & the woman may not be fond of this, but that’s where trust has to come into the equation. If it isn’t there, then the foundation is definitely going to be jacked up. I’ve tried to get people to know that yes I do have friends or may talk to people, but when a relationship is on my mind or in my presence, things change & everyone either respects it or gets to stepping. I think I have made my point in this one. Hope it hit home & I tackled the story as clear as I can. Look forward to the feedback. Take care.

Well mom you’ve done it. Whatever it is you’ve done it. A year ago this day, you help me with establishing myself in trying to find my own place & I thank you for it. Now literally a year later, you see me moving once again. I thank you for all that you do. My dads help definitely doesn’t go unnoticed, but wow mom, what haven’t you been there for? When I received all those awards & medals in school or when I needed to make a phone call home because I was homesick, you were there. I’m blessed for all that you’ve done. Its been a major blessing in disguise. Talk about listening to my relationship woes. She’s invested 27 years in hearing all about the many things I’ve had to endure with some of the highs & lows involving women. I put a smile on her face when introducing her into my gadget world. When I decided to upgrade & she wanted to learn how to text via the (you ready for this) Sidekick 2. When I upgraded, she did too & I loved it. True she didn’t mess w/ the android game, but the latest jump into the BlackBerry world proved that she was a G…my G…Gladys. Mom, I love you. Sometimes I don’t do well with showing it, but I’m my fathers son. That excuse/card has probably been long burned, but looking back over it all, you’ve been there for me like a mother should be. If I didn’t do so already, thank you. I’m happy to be the man I am. I know that you see better than many people who see better if not the best. Its been a rocky road for me in many ways, but I’ve kept my hands on the world, the key in the ignition, & kept on driving. This phone I’m writing this blog from…yep she helped with it too, so even though it isn’t Thanksgiving, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for. Ok, every child knows when his point has been made, & I believe my friends that my point has clearly been made in this one. To my many readers both far & near, I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as much as I have enjoyed writing. Just like my blog says, I’m BACK AGAIN…for the very 4th time (signs of when the next blog may be on deck hmmmm).

I’m writing this blog as a fair warning to those of you who know anyone who has a tendency to top or overpower to avoid these people. Let’s just say that you’re having a laid-back conversation related to how you went somewhere or did something. As soon as you share your news, instead of the person being a supporter or being proud of what you did, they have to say or do something that makes it seem like they have done something bigger or better. Yeah yeah yeah, this blog sounds like my old blog about people who do this, but thanks to a few of my friends, & sitting back thinking about about it, I’ve learned that more females are guilty of doing this. Now now now, before you jump down my throat, I will share with you firsthand that this was a WOMAN who shared this valuable information with me. I will give three examples of this & you will see exactly what I mean. A few years ago, I ended up cutting off one of my relationships/friendships with a female friend of mine because she practically contradicted herself with no possibility of going against what she felt. We were sitting down talking about how I post blogs (like the ones you read today) & the first words out of her mouth was that she thought blogging was very secular and that the topics that are addressed in most blogs are pretty boring and stupid. Now, I had no problem with it @ first, because that’s her opinion, & I’m cool with that. A few years had passed, & our friendship was basically like a light switch (off & on), but when it was working (on), she decided to share some news that basically fell on a dead ear by sharing that she posts blogs FOR MONEY. Now, when she first said it, I got really pissed because of the simple fact that not long ago, she forgot all about how she was bashing me for writing, but because she’s doing it for money and it’s in her field of computers, it’s a whole different monster. It was funny when my birthday came up and she was making some sorta effort to send me an e-mail saying Happy Birthday, & that really fell on dead ears. What’s worse…this isn’t the first time she did this crap. I told her I had the G1…which for me was a lot, but she has to throw and gloat about how she has the iPhone and how it’s better. Now, I wasn’t saying that she wasn’t valid, but it’s like her timing was jacked. OK, I’m gonna get off this one person & jump into a few different scenarios to confirm what I’m saying and “somehow” try to cap this blog off lol. WARNING…this blog is a bit long, so please invest a few minutes towards this one. I got on BlackPlanet a few days ago to make light convo w/ this girl just to get to know her or whatever. The convo went a little sour due to other reasons, but we were talking about some things such as me sharing that I went to Italy when I was little. Now, I know that was a bit of a topper moment, but she felt she had to be topped by saying that she has been everywhere. Wait, I’m sorry, did I really say it so that you could brag about what you’ve done lol. I didn’t say it bragging…it was to just tell you about me and all. Then, the other day, this was the 3rd confirmation that SOME females have to seem like they have to do things bigger and better. I tell her that I’m gonna help one of my friends with Math (now I’m sharing that I’m helping her with the Math because I have knowledge in Math). This fool takes it as though I’m asking her to come over and tutor her like I don’t know what I’m doing. “I have knowledge in Math. I tutor kids in Math for RPS”. WHO CARES…LET ALONE WHO ASKED U? I know I’m being a bit picky and fine-combing this blog, but you can’t say that there’s a topper everywhere you go. Now, whenever I think of men who do it, the first one that comes to mind is one of the guys who does talk radio for Sports Illustrated. Someone could come along and make a statement, & he will follow up with some type of over the top story that doesn’t fit. Don’t think that I’m letting men off that easy. There are some guys who feel like they have to brag about how much they spent or how much they did or how much they can bench press. I just notice that women have a tendency to do it a little MORE. Now, if you don’t agree with me, BRING IT!!!!! I just want this one cleared up for me in every way possible. Just let the conversation flow naturally…no need trying to stand out or make your story look or seem bigger when NO ONE CARES. I know that may sound heartless, but no one wants to have someone who is making it their goal to just stand out in EVERY conversation. It’s not cool. If you want to state something that is unique to spark convo…good. Otherwise, shut up about how many cars you have (that aren’t fully paid for) or how many purses you have (that aren’t keeping the lights on) or how many video game systems you have (that aren’t even yours). In a nutshell…NO ONE CARES. The humble people stand out. If you don’t believe me, try it.