Oh my goodness…I’ve been WAITING to write this blog. I have topics sitting off to the side, & I was supposed to chip at my “Valuing the Simple Things”, but I guess this topic has fell into my lap, so I’m going to do my best to write about my thoughts on these three things (two of which have gone unnoticed as of late). So, many of you have ways of contacting friends, family, or even your significant other via phone. There’s no denial of this. Sometimes, a visit or a physical hello for some people goes a long way. I think it’s interesting that I went through this nearly a week ago. I was involved with someone that I was talking to on the phone, not texting whatsoever, & seeing hardly at all. I know that I’m probably putting business out there, but it’s not likely that my blog is being read by them anyway. Well, to literally make a long story short, by us not hardly being able to see each other, it made doing anything or enjoying each other’s company highly challenging. Sometimes, we don’t realize that physical quality time with someone goes a long way. Don’t get me wrong…when you talk to someone on the phone for hours (and actually hold/have conversation) that’s an enjoyable accomplishment. However, nothing beats seeing, touching, holding, being close to that person. NO, that doesn’t mean having sex with them. It means being around someone & getting to know the ins & outs about that person. I have written about this before, & I will mention it again. We need to stop rushing into relationships (or the dreaded situationships) with people we don’t hardly know. What happens is that those little things that are legitimate forms of substance become passed over. For example, those of you who are in serious relationships right now…do you know what your partner’s favorite drink is when you go out to eat? Or even better, if you were going to the store to get liquor, beer, juice, soda, or even water, do you know exactly what kind they like, & how they drink it? No, I’m not asking that question to break up people’s happy homes, because many people are happy with each other, & don’t have to know these things. There are others, however, who surpass things like this, & wonder why their relationship has no chance of being able to stand afloat because the ship has broken apart midstream. I feel like the “ship” blog could be it’s own monster by itself. Like I said, I am going to try to break down each of these forms of communication, & how they can be good (and sometimes bad) when in an early part or even a unique portion of your relationship.
So, first there’s talking. Actually investing time in talking to someone on the phone or having conversations of substance goes a long way. I feel like I could dwell on this topic alone & that might cover the entire blog. Instead, I won’t, but I will go over helping others (including myself) value talking to your partner. Find things that you both can have input about. Don’t sit there & say the words that can break a relationship (what would you like to talk about). If you don’t have anything to talk about, don’t panic. Just find something that you both can discuss, or just don’t waste time or energy breathing on the phone. When you’re growing up, that’s cool to do, but when you’re nearly 30 years old, that’s a bunch of energy that becomes wasted honestly. Anyways, talking is good, but it can also be very weighing on the relationship if there’s a lot of talking w/ nothing to show for it in the end. I’m gonna go ahead & jump into the next topic. This should be one that a lot of you may enjoy.
The infamous texting. For whatever, over the past 10 years, we went through a transition from talking to people to e-mailing each other. Now, we have skipped all of those options, & we use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, & our cell phones of letting others know how we’re doing or what we’re doing. Many people feel that a message or “hey I’m OK” covers everything. I’m gonna take this into a bit of a personal place. When I was away from social media for a few periods of time & folks didn’t see posts, there was this huge amount of concern, because most people would set their clocks to me posting or sharing something, whether it made sense or not. Regardless, texting has caused people to be very subliminal in sharing or presenting how we feel about things. Most of the times, we feel that a text message will clear up the air. There are some pro’s & cons behind that. What happens is that people are sometimes overly multitasking causing them to mistakenly send messages to the wrong people. I know that mistakes are made & we all have our moments when we drop the ball. It’ just a part of the process sometimes, but seriously, we use text messaging as a lazy way to get things handled that can be done a lot easier in a phone call. Granted, we can’t always get in contact with someone via phone (which I can relate to) but nonetheless, texting isn’t always the best option sometimes.
So the infamous madness of spending quality time or being around your partner…this could go on for HOURS. Folks wanna see their interest, but it’s tough to do sometimes based on life sometimes literally being in the way. Making sense of the space or distance or time or whatever is causing you from seeing someone can always cause controversy. I initially thought that quality time wasn’t a big deal, but as time went along, I started to learn that it’s a lot more helpful & beneficial than we realize sometimes. One of the best examples involving quality time is when you do small things like going out to the park or the movies. A simple trick is to go to sporting events with your partner. Fellas, don’t go to the event and make it like you’re strictly there to watch the game. Make her feel involved. Going to football games (or sporting events period) when it’s cold is the perfect time to war each other up. That doesn’t mean make it into a personal show lol. I’m just saying that you have to be creative & think outside of the box. Over a year ago, video games were the easiest way of spending quality time with the person I was involved with at the time. Bad enough we both were naturally competitive, but we had games we were good at. It was just something that came with the territory. Being a gamer sometimes isn’t a bad thing sometimes (yeah you knew this was gonna blend into this blog somehow). The reason I say this is because when you’re sitting side by side having a good gaming session, moments like that you can’t enjoy or invite into your routine without physically seeing each other. It would be like playing against your partner online instead of him or her being right beside you. You may not believe, but it makes a huge difference. I think it’s very beneficial when you see or are physically around your partner. That’s my two cents of course.
So, these are all various forms of communication barriers (yes, I was gonna find a way to tie the communication barrier in there) that can either help or possibly harm your relationship. What happens is that we use them, but we don’t balance them where it matters most. Don’t constantly talk to someone on the phone and not see or text them, especially if they’re not text-appropriate. Texting is convenient, but you could say those same things to someone if you were able to see them face to face. Seeing your friends or your significant other is much better than having chat conversations. Yes, cool kids, I know that I owe you all some hey & hangout time (they know who they are). Nonetheless, these options of communication are all helpful, but what’s important is balancing between the three. By being overpowered by one, it causes friction & sometimes tension. That’s the last thing you need on your relationships with your significant others or friends (yes I left that out of most of this blog, but I think you get the point). As always, I hope you all have enjoyed reading this. It was fun writing, & I have more writing to do soon. Until next time, this is BT signing out. Take care.