The one thing I’ll be forced to see with these topics is that the moment they crossed my mind, what I was thinking about then will be probably be far from what I have on my mind currently. I feel as though regardless of how we look at it, home is where the heart is. That’s a statement you hear people use time and time again, but not really understand the meaning behind those words. The truth is that I went away from home, but I was going to the wrong places for shelter. That one might have flown over a few of my reader’s minds. We find ourselves in certain places, but it doesn’t feel safe or right. When we find home, it’s VERY comforting & nurturing. Many times, we need that place that just makes us feel that it’s where we belong. Many times, we can be around friends & be so comfortable that we walk in take our shoes off, open the fridge, & make a sandwich. Don’t act like you’re not at that stage with someone in your routine.
One of the problems is that we get caught up with what’s going on around us. It then causes you to get a little too far away from home. I’m somewhat jumping around a little with this blog, but this might reel you all in. Back at the end of 2013, I felt like I had nowhere to go. I mean, I technically had places and/or options, but the truth is that my pride got the best of me more than anything. Part of why I felt that I had nowhere to go was because I alienated myself. The place I “called” myself entering and calling home was far from comforting and nurturing. It’s almost like working a job. You either do the job & are pretty passionate regardless of how little money you’re paid, or how few hours you’re scheduled to work. You look at the humbleness side of it, you’re glad to be working, but you have those who will not embrace a job if it comes your way. Just in their nature/instinct. When you are in a home, it’s either gonna feel like home or it’s gonna feel like a nightmare. Well, I was living in a very uncomfortable nightmare. After really having to learn that I was in the wrong place thinking it was home, it was time for me to think of a place I would consider home that’s never turned it’s back on me. My mom asked me to speak to the pastor my church (who happened to know me as a teen when I was running around acting crazy at the Salvation Army Boys & Girls Club). Now, my mother had been asking me about going to church, one of my other friends presented the idea of returning back to church, & I was just brushing all of it off thinking I had all of the answers or that I could do it on my own. A lot of my friends know that I was in church a lot at one time. Well, as years passed along, I went away from church calling myself trying to do it on my own, which didn’t work out very well (as mentioned earlier). I didn’t lose my belief in God. I just wasn’t grounding myself to do the right things to grow. It was almost as though I was wanting to just go into the world & just live & feel that it was more than enough. So as time went along time, I returned to my home church, I prayed over a lot of things. There were things that I was forced to sit back & learn from (and the lessons were INTENSE), but after my lessons, I was able to come back home to my church & be embracing to the changes that were expected to come my way. I don’t sit & say that the mistakes I made were justified. I just needed to be sat down & really put in my place. It really isn’t about me. It’s about knowing that I’ve got a team, as long as I rely on the right people being a part of my team. Lately, I’ve been attending Sunday school, reading my Bible daily, & praying for the simple things that many of us (including myself) take for granted. It would come to me just saying something as simple as thank You.
Right now, I come to You Father for not only inviting me back home, but realizing that I have always had a home. I may not be as active as other members in the church, but I thank You for keeping watch over me, my family, my friends while providing the tools to understand how important and valuable home is truly all about. Now, keep me level-headed & embracing to the mistakes I’ve made knowing that I’m human & have nothing but positive vibes around me. These things I ask in Your name. Amen. I usually create blogs just for prayer, but I feel as though I needed to get that one out there & presented to the masses. Someone may have specifically needed that prayer. Who knows. I personally feel like I’ve had quite a bit happen, but I’m thankful & grateful that I’ve gotten through it all. There’s so much more ahead, & I’m prepared for what coming next on the scene. I’m just pushing to keep my focus intact & let the chips land where they may.
Everyone has their own form of “home” that they remember as being home. You may not have to return to that exact home, but in those times that you feel things aren’t at their best, not can you remember home, but you can take time to realize that if you even have to return, that it’s there. Finally, as an added bonus, don’t return home for the wrong reasons. In other words, don’t have a hidden agenda, because it could blow up in your face when least expected. I’m really gonna accept that my target words for these blogs might be totally different from what I wrote, but all I can do is let the pen hit the pad & go from there. It’s been a joy. Until next time, this is BT dropping more of the Mad Blogga back on the scene. Take care.