So between typing & writing this blog, I believe that one day, I will get these thoughts shared & expressed. I really think that we sometimes claim to be thankful or humble, but we really don’t understand or allow ourselves to be as thankful as we would like to be. Thinking back to a year ago when I was still waiting to start a job, I am thankful that I am not only employed, but I have benefits along with a full time job. One point, I would have said that I was thankful to be in love, but when I think about it, I am still thankful to be in love…with myself. I feel like I’ve left myself out of the love rotation, but that changes now. I have honestly sold and left myself short, causing me to just take something instead of obtaining what I truly deserve in life. I’ve been doing things a little different than normal, but I hope that I can eventually get it right. If I don’t, then I will truly miss my blessings. We sometimes come across things that makes us feel warm and special, but then we realize that it isn’t where we deserve or where we truly belong.
I know that I’m going a little off course with the blog being titled as Thankful, but the constants of friends & family have been a huge part of my growth & transition. They have been keeping me on my toes when I get a little steered off course. I’m not looking for any pity or sorrow from anything that has been done right or wrong. Sometimes, we walk into things looking for them to turn out a certain way, realizing that there are some things that are gonna happen the way they are meant to happen, whether we like it or not. I think we sometimes miss that piece. We push or force something to be placed into a specific moment or aura, but then fail to realize that there are just some things that are going to be out of our control. I don’t think we understand that sometimes. Nonetheless, the truth is that this year has taught me how to be thankful even when things don’t seem like they’re totally working out. We sometimes get discouraged, but have to earn that pushing and pressing forward is what makes us better people all around.
This is a bit of a short/brief blog, because I wanna give more energy & time towards my infamous “year in review” blog,which I was initially excited to share w/ someone, but based on things just not working out, I had to make changes accordingly. Sometimes, it’s hard to write about various thoughts, but then you’re also taught to just be accountable for what the truth brings. Building & branding is what I am gonna be working harder on over the next few months. Loving myself requires not giving someone all of my love with nothing to show for it. I know that may sound like a weird way of saying it, but it’s the truth if you really pay attention. I pray that everyone enjoys their holidays & most importantly, BE SAFE! It’s no fun being alone for Christmas & New Years, but I need to literally get out of my head by all means.