I’ve been wondering what has been making this one of the most challenging blogs that I was supposed to have finished weeks ago. The reason why I’ve been struggling with this blog is because I have LITERALLY been in my own way with getting this blog finished. The evident & obvious answer is that I’ve been lazy across the board. I’m not writing this blog playing the role of the victim, but I want to write it as a form of an ice breaker going into my famous “Year in Review” blog, that I haven’t even started to scratch the surface with.
One thing I’m guilty of is being so “on the go” that I don’t know how to slow down & keep still. I’ve literally learned that it’s ME. I have been running around all over the place trying to fix, manage, & maintain everything that honestly needs to be left alone. For a while, I’ve been trying to piece various things as far as “why this” or “how come that”, & the target is to remain calm & keep peace. Questions have been coming from all angles, but now it’s time to get some answers to these thoughts that have been dangling.
There were two forms of reality that I was smacked with, & they’ve both helped create the ammunition for me getting the year 2015 ended & the upcoming 2016 headed in the right direction. The first piece is that I’m a very giving & caring person, which in turn causes me to get the short end of the stick & become very vulnerable & gullible. In other words, I spend a lot of energy trying to find the good in people who don’t find the good in me (let alone themselves). I honestly have this mindset that I want everything to be fixed & right, when sometimes there are just some things that can’t be fixed.
The second portion of reality is that I’m my own worst critic. This piece is what caused me to acknowledge & see that I get in my own way. I’m always hard on myself when I don’t have to be. What I’ll have to take away from this is that I can’t go around to get everything fixed that might not need be touched in the first place. My biggest thing I have to learn is that some things around me just can’t be fixed. I have been really trying to put that into my head & my heart. That’s something I have to face and look at.
Now, it’s coincidental that as I was writing this blog, I talked to a 3rd friend of mine, who has known me for over half of my life. She gave me a GREAT piece of advice that tied into the first things I just mentioned. The funny part is how simple it is. You ready for this. KEEP STILL! For a lot of us, we want to run all over the place & think we’re gonna get all of the answers that aren’t even out there. The truth is that you have to slow down sometimes and just sit back & most importantly, allow life to work itself out while fixing those things that you’re trying to fix yourself. I’ve been guilty of trying to make things around me right, which in most cases isn’t even necessary, because if something is meant to be, it literally will happen on it’s time…not your so-called time. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV). I’m sharing this verse because we sometimes have to sit back & literally allow time to heal all wounds. In doing so, this causes the growth & maturity factor to play into things from a different angle.
Keeping still means more praying, less stressing, & way more less fixing. I am willing to learn to get out of my own way. If there are friends who have been there through WHATEVER, don’t leave. If you are around, but you feel like something is or isn’t right, then that’s your personal choice. I can’t sit & try to act as though I can save everything that life brings sometimes. I’m beginning to get worn down being the good guy helping others with nothing to show for it. Everything in life happens for a reason and an intended purpose. Forcing something that shouldn’t be forced just makes it bad when it fully is attempted upon. I’m more than open to saying that me being in my own way has been equivalent to blocking my own blessings. I will be willing to discuss my blessings and plans that are in store for the upcoming year when the year in review gets kicked off. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this. And once again, please don’t take my words or thoughts personal. They’re nothing short of the truth as to where I stand in my own life & I hope to get more thoughts and things intact. Until next time, this is BT & sorry I’ve been in a writing hiatus, but I have to write more often to get these thoughts out of my system. Take it easy.