Light My Fire

There is no way in the world a blog should be this hard. However, this has been a challenging one, & that’s solely because I’ve had to learn how to just turn off the world, turn on music, & most of all, allow my brain to be just a little creative. Thanks GT & Chudney…my musical addicts that be just blowing my ear w/ some of the music they share.

Anyways, I’m not gonna get too far off course, because my mind has been doing nothing but going on this topic. A few days ago, my sis had me & my bro in this place of wonder & concern. It wasn’t anything drastic or extreme, but it caused us to do some thinking. The crazy thing is that was the last conversation we all had together. I won’t give too much of the back story, because I was able to get a little clarification on a slight piece of misinterpretation. That’s what makes us individuals willing and able to grow & stand where we would usually fall or settle ourselves short. Long story short, I was hit with a question that I initially didn’t have a clear-cut answer to. When are you worth fighting for?

Two statements I’m famous for presenting is that we have to learn how to be accountable for our actions, & most of all to get out of your own way. Regarding both of these, I will be the first to admit that I’m working on them HEAVILY! I have to be accountable for the mistakes & actions I’ve made. They obviously don’t represent or define who exactly I am. However, if I’m stuck on feeling that those represent who I am & what I’m about, then I have no chance of growing anytime soon. Of course, when it comes to getting in our own way, I feel that we sometimes have a tendency to stand there & feel that it’s not only safe, but it’s pretty comfortable. The problem then becomes being comfortable causes you to become frozen & stagnant & miss opportunities.

Now I’m gonna jump back into the question of when am I worth fighting for. My immediate answer is that I know when I’m worth fighting for when I realize that I’m glad & thankful for where I am, but I have to prove to myself (more than anyone else) that I deserve to be doing something productive & worthwhile with my career. If I don’t do or start this career or journey now, I will never get it accomplished. I’ve been spending more time and energy not doing what I know I’m capable of. Sometimes, we fail to see or notice our own potential. We’re worried that if we get to this better that it’s gonna be too much for us or something. I always wonder what causes us to get to that point. The worst part is that we know getting out of that place/status can benefit us to possibly go a long way. Thinking things through helps when least expected. I really know for a fact that growth comes with learning & lessons.

I have kinda dodged my main topic & the title of this blog (my true readers know that I’m famous for doing this). I had a meeting with my manager (new manager at that) & it seemed like I needed a light to go off to cause me to really think about my future. This future that I’m thinking about & considering involves me having to jump back into the computer field. I have been dodging & staying away from it since 2008. Between losing my job as well as losing my sister, I didn’t know how to face or look at getting back to a place where I belong. This will require me to push myself & do things right. Many times, we don’t realize that right for some isn’t the same right for others. If you don’t take time to see this now, then you will be blocking your blessings & remain in your own way for quite a few years (as I’ve done). It’s been EIGHT YEARS since I last worked in computers. Yes, a lot has changed, but thankfully, I’m a sponge. I will be the first to admit that I like being challenged & tested when working on a job. That makes the job more enjoyable for me. I have a mindset where I don’t like to feel like I’m doing something redundant & not being tested mentally. Some of us don’t realize that life is gonna make you think things through when you don’t wanna think anything through.

Don’t worry, for my new readers, I have a closing. You have to know where you belong while handling things where they are. Not meeting anything & expecting it to fall in your lap won’t get a lick of anything accomplished. That’s what put me in the economical rut I was in. Oddly enough I don’t blame anyone but myself. All I can tell people is to just stay tuned. I have to let my actions speak for themselves. I know that I needed to gain or maintain a form of push, & I have finally obtained it. It feels great too. Just continue to stay positive & be patient with me & my process. I know for a fact that rushing things doesn’t lead to worthwhile results. Reminding myself this sometimes goes a long way. Hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. Until next time, this is BT signing out.

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