Driver’s and Passengers

I find it amazing that the most basic or simple conversations generate talk time internally & blogs externally. The internal convo’s won’t expose much, but what I usually try to bring to life is intended to truly make people assess the situation or moment as it happens. I will come clean in sharing that some people are solely drivers & have no clue what being a passenger is. You also have people who aren’t really pushovers, but they find themselves doing hardly no driving & being comfortable with just being in the passenger seat & letting everyone take them everywhere they may not even belong. Then, you have those who mix their driving & passenger duties. I’m gonna try to break down each of these because thankfully we all have been in one of these positions (if not all three).

I feel like the quickest one to get into that somewhat applies to me would be the half & half of driving & being a passenger. Many times, there are moments and times when you’re ready to just in and step up & take the lead. You know that someone has to do it & you’re usually that go to person. The problem is that you’re not in this role majority of the time. You find yourself in various cases just sitting in the background trying to be seen slightly, but drawing little to no attention to yourself. It becomes a pretty burning and draining process. I am someone who’s guilty of stepping up and being the go-to person even when I don’t feel the urge or need to be. I just know that there are sometimes when I’m better off providing limited to no presence to the equation. I have been working on this one for quite some time. I am known to drive, but also drive so far out of control that I become a passenger in my own routine. I’m gonna get into the other two scenarios and see which of them applies to you and your persona.

Now I’ll save the best and most challenging or truthful for last. I will now talk about the passengers in life. They’re those who are easygoing and carefree. Sometimes, that carefree tactic means that it’s a way to avoid conflict or controversy. The last thing you’re worried about is ruffling feathers. Going back to the half and half, I would sometimes tell people my mind and drive a point across, but also be so worried about how others felt about what I was gonna say when in most cases, it didn’t even matter. If someone wants to be told about themselves, they will know to not take it personally. The problem is that we sometimes find ourselves being sensitive about something that doesn’t deserve our sensitive side in the long haul. I truly can say that at one point, I was STRICTLY a passenger. I would just kinda flow with life and mainly keep myself on auto-pilot because it was easier. The challenge became when there were times that I needed to step up, & I was scared to do so worrying myself over the outcome. That’s a piece of the puzzle that goes unnoticed sometimes. I have seen passengers just stay in that seat beside the driver. Sometimes, I’ve even those who play the passenger literally be sitting on the back row of the minivan feeling that it’s much more comfortable and safer in that area to avoid all of the madness & foolishness that may follow. Many times, it’s all about comfort and discomfort. Drivers don’t mind the risk of being in charge. The passenger will put in the musical requests & even make sure that the driver is able to be comfortable when driving an extended period of time. Passengers are helpful, but sometimes you need the real passengers in life to step up & drive when it’s time to drive. That’s the simplest way to “drive” the point home.

Now comes the vast majority of this blog…THE DRIVER!!!!! They will tell you what they want done & become very stern in their approach. You have to remember that when someone is a driver in the process, its second nature to them. Many times, the driver can drive you off the bridge. They can also drive or get the passenger in the right direction. Sometimes, they’re using a guiding tool such as Google Maps, Waze, or any other tool to lead. In many cases, they already know where they’re going. You really can’t tell them anything more than they already know. They’re HIGHLY resourceful. I want this to be pointed out, because it’s VERY key. You can be an Alpha & have passenger-like tendencies. I know many of my Alpha male OR Alpha female friends may not get this, but it’s not thought about often in the world of being the driver. When it comes to signs or astrology, the first one that comes to mind is Leo’s. My mother is a Leo & many of my friends are Leo’s. They are very point-guard or leader-based (if that makes sense). I know I’m writing this as if I’m having a verbal conversation with friends I personally know, but hear me out. They are truly in control and will tell everyone else where they need to go or what they’re going to do. The challenge in some instances is that they’re so good at delegating and giving directions, that their guidance or direction isn’t completely stable. Please note that these are MY thoughts of the three scenarios. Some of you may feel that they’re all inaccurate, but it’s solely based on observation of things I’ve seen from others. I won’t say that it applies to every single person, because obviously everyone is truly on the basis of a case by case observation. Obviously, I’m not making people cases. OK, ENOUGH ANALYZING AND RANDOM BREAKDOWNS. What I WILL say, however, is that you sometimes are placed in the position of being a driver & when doing so, that’s when you’re truly expected to drive and be the leader. Drivers are natural leaders. They don’t really follow. Going back to the passenger reference, a passenger naturally follows & needs direction (referring to the maps from earlier), which can sometimes be a good thing, or at times draining. In many cases, I’m known for driving and trying help people see what their worth. In doing so, I sometimes leave myself no light or no fire, which, in hindsight can take a massive toll on me. Many times, I don’t even like to ask other people for their input or advice, because they have their own things they are trying to deal with or face in everyday life.

So the question remains…are you a driver? Are you a passenger? Do you primarily drive with some passenger stages in your routine? Or do you find yourself being a passenger & driving solely when the opportunity presents itself? What we all have to realize is that in order for us to be greater people, we have to know our role and stay in our lane. What happens sometimes is that we will see ourselves trying to drive when its time to just sit back & enjoy the flow of everything that’s going down. This is where I give my disclaimers and understandings of both sides, because sometimes it can be taken personal. To the passengers, if you feel you’re being attacked, that’s fine. It’s not truly an attack, more than it’s a way of truly lighting a fire under you. Many times, you’ll see yourself thinking that you’re being told what to do, but sometimes it’s that driver in your friends or confidants who are wanting you to utilize who you are & what you’re worth to the maximum. The challenge for people is the discomfort. Drivers, don’t be surprised if a passenger is able to show you something that you may be missing by being in the wrong lane or even driving away from. Sometimes, we learn more from others than we even are willing or open to learning from ourselves. Many times, we will see ourselves randomly move between being a driver and a passenger within our work lives without even knowing it. When you’re placed in the position as a lead, then it will sometimes be a given that you are expected to step up and show out. The showing out may sometimes scare you, but it could also be breaking you out of a shell that you’ve been caught in for a couple of years, or even your entire life. If you have been stuck solely as a passenger, it doesn’t hurt to take a moment or two to realize that it’s not the worst idea to be a driver and give it a try. I think the worry that some people who are used to being passengers is that you gain that fear of discomfort. Now, I know that you may have heard this time, but I will break down it’s exact and specific meaning. There are times and moments when you could see yourself being in a place or a time when things are a little different from normal. It usually is viewed as change, but for some people, it can generate a brief bit of discomfort. There are those times when you’ll do something that could be considered as totally new, whereas you’ll get those instances where it is just something that’s far from your norm & breaks well beyond your norm or obvious routine. Taking time to know the difference between the two is key. Also, take time to know if you’re a driver, a passenger, or if you alternate the roles finding yourself to be more of a driver OR more of a passenger. We all may delve into each of them, but being true to how or in what way we may see things could be important as to who you really are. Until next time, this is BT signing out & making sure the pedestrians get out-of-the-way of the drivers, & most importantly, the passengers aren’t stuck calling shotgun for the rest of their life. Take care.

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