I know that I constantly bring up & talk about communication, but one part of communication that I seem to leave out is the listening. When you are talking to someone, do you feel like they’re really understanding where you’re coming from? The reason I ask is because we sometimes truly want to get the point that someone is making, but we don’t invest the time to really hear and relate to the person. One thing that someone said to me a few days ago, & I’ve found myself doing this more frequently is that when someone says something to you, take a few seconds & pause to process what was being said. We find ourselves talking to other people trying to figure out how to say the right thing to flow with the conversation instead of just investing in understanding where the other person is coming from. You can also share with someone that you don’t necessarily agree with their point of view. It’s OK to see things on a different playing field sometimes. I think that everyone has this concept that we all should agree on every single thing. As I’ve left in my queue, I still plan on writing & speaking about those moments when nerds are all gonna be in different baskets, but STILL be nerds (haven’t forgotten that blog, just have a bunch of drafts waiting to hatch into scheduled posts, but that’s another discussion in itself). All of that being said, learn how to listen & truly process what the other individual is saying to you.
We as humans were given 2 ears over one mouth because we’re “supposed” to be listening twice as much as we speak. Instead, we are ready to respond or write back in our own way instead of seeing what the other person really needs. It’s not about giving or providing tough love all the time. It’s not about breaking out the building blocks & being ready to fix things. It’s about sometimes just taking a moment to listen & process what the other person is saying. Processing is hard for others, because we try to process as we’re listening. It’s like cooking food in the oven & while it’s cooking, you’re trying to take it out earlier than it’s supposed to be cooked. Or, it’s when you warm up food in the microwave & it should be cooked within a specific amount of minutes, but because you’re thinking about the length of time your lunch is, you’re pressed on trying to just get it & take the risk of it being undercooked on your own. As I’ve stated multiple times from my Twitter, “Learn it on your own. No one’s gonna help you.” That one STILL hits me to this day, because I think that we want to expect to get the answers from others instead of truly investing that time in figuring it out on our own & letting life lead us where we need to go. This correlates to the listening piece of communication.
It’s shared to communicate effectively, but you rarely hear it stated to listen effectively. It’s written in various places, but not everyone is open to following that rule, because effective listening scares people. When you effectively hear things, that’s what makes you better with what you’re doing. Don’t just take some of the pieces. For me personally, I’m even facing this with designing. I have to remember to effectively listen to clients & provide clients with work. I’ve been slacking on that craft too, & I will work harder on improving that. It’s time to break out of the comfort zone with life. That’s the only way that more will come my way. Anyways, that’s all I got when it comes to listening. Be sure to listen with the right ear. If you are working to fix or respond to the message, then you won’t be able to help the person who’s asking for help. That’s what I’ve lately began to see at least. As always, take it easy & this is BT signing out.