Building Your Mindset

So, I’m gonna say something that may offend some people. We are our own worst enemy. What exactly does this mean? Well, I’m glad you asked. Honestly, by us being very negative and depressing, it can cause us to get into our personal attitude bag, which usually isn’t necessary. Many times, we never know exactly what causes or generates our frustration, but we know it’s there. Sometimes, we have to do what’s called a self assessment. The million dollar question is “When is the last time you have really assessed and broken yourself down?”. The flip side is that we sometimes are not willing to seek or look for mental assistance. I think that black men & women don’t wanna get any help from anyone, because that’s then equivalent to claiming or stating that you have a problem. The brick wall after that is finances and how much it costs to get help.

I’m sharing all of this to point out something…we will find barriers or obstacles to personally put in front of us to stop us from getting things done that could take us to the next level. Even worse is when we take someone out of the mix that isn’t even part of the equation.

How many excuses have you used to stop your blessing? Are you in your own damn way? If the answers is many or yes, then it’s time to change that. The important part of that is to find an avenue & take it. That’s where the fears and worries come into play. You have to be open to knowing that you are worth and capable of so much more (whether you know it or not). What hurts us sometimes could be the one thing that we need in order to get us over our own personal hump.

Don’t be your own critic so bad to the point that you are leaving life on the table while there’s much more to accomplish in your life without even trying. That’s the message I leave with you in this blog this week. As always, continue tuning in & until next time, this is BT signing out.

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Being around Good People

This might sound like an easy thing to think about but truly assess your personal situation. How many of you are really around people who want to see you grow? How many times do you hear someone growing while not seeing them move in any sorta direction? The challenge with being around people who are considered good is that the “good” is viewed from various points of view. Everyone’s different when it comes to how they see good people. If you didn’t know it, some folks may have a toxic vibe to them. We don’t think about it, but someone’s energy can really effect ours. Why is that? Part of it is that we allow it & make it like it’s the greatest thing when in reality, some people will suck more energy out of you than you can even give to yourself. Don’t let the natural drainers steal your joy & your feelings. My roommate has gotten on me about this, & I’m gonna share it…EVERYTHING DOESN’T NEED PRAYER. Sometimes you are forced to let life take its course (even when you don’t agree with it). Most instances, it isn’t even about you, & you’re put in a place where you have to realize that. Realizing where you are within your routine is key.

If you want the growth, look over those around you. There will be some that want to see success. And there who are waiting for the 2nd shoe to drop in order to confirm the failure & say “I told you so”. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I hope everyone enjoys this. As always, until next time, this is BT signing out. Take it easy.

Back Again AGAIN

I would have NEVER thought in a million years I would return to a job that I have ALWAYS viewed as being home. Many of you that personally follow me know where that place is. For those who don’t, this is my 3rd time in this location, & I will admit that each time, they have done right by me without question. I gain a constant reminder that we never know where life will lead us. I am beyond glad that life has brought me here. It brought me back to the same place for the 3rd time, & I feel like the wisdom I have helps me be a much more resourceful option within this job. I have had one of my friends constantly remind me about how I find a way to remain humble.

You honestly never know where life is going to take you. What’s important is that you do the right things with what life gives you. It ain’t even that whole “when life gives you lemons” metaphor. You’re just naturally inclined to really see how important the small things are that we take for granted. I have thankfully been put in the position in my life where I have to sit down, shut up, be thankful, & just remain patient for what’s coming. I have gained many skills & many friends thanks to all that has happened over the last few years. The best part is that I have a stronger state of mind, which is key.

I’m redundant on the state of mind because I think what has helped me is that I have been able to learn how to remain peaceful and in a very stable state lately, which is important. I’m not saying that there won’t be times when I’ll lose my cool, but I have also learned that we have to have our balance in our routine. That’s something that has been placed on my routine CONSTANTLY. We can do things with or without our varied pieces, but we still have to get through things the best way possible.

All I’m gonna say is that it feels good to be back where my true employment started for a THIRD time and I also know that I have an agenda-based list of goals to work on in order to become a better employee and human being. At the end of the day, that’s all we’re trying to become right? Better people and better employees on our job. Oh wait, that’s just me lol. Just kidding. Those who are wanting more will go for more. If you sell yourself short, then you usually get what you receive. Hope you’re enjoying this flow. As always, this is BT signing out.

Some Stuff Should Not Be Shared

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I have dodged this blog God knows how many times. I am either using my laptop, my tablet that I’m currently typing on OR the fact that I just don’t wanna invest focus towards this blog, but we’re here. This topic stemmed from an incident that happened a few months ago that I am shedding light upon.

For those of you who may or may not know, there was a rapper named XXXTentacion (Probably spelled wrong) who was murdered in broad daylight. The murder was one side of this topic, but the side that I will get into involves what people were doing when this happened. Everyone who was on the scene of this incident were LITERALLY holding their phones in front of a lifeless body following what had happened. What has caused us to reach this point in society? We have to record & share EVERYTHING. Sometimes we don’t even know how to function without making everyone know that we’re taking a shit or we’re going to the gym OR that we are living lavishly.

If any of you remember, there was a point when people would literally tag the location of every single place they have gone to. It was getting to a point where it was excessively out of hand. I don’t need to know you went to the Walmart on Duck Butter road (you would have to see the video to get the reference).

What I’m saying is that there are some things that should not be shared. If something has happened to me, share with the police what went down. Don’t share with them how many people were holding their phones in the air recording me looking like I was excessively drunk. That’s what this ties to. If people are out socially deciding to have a good time, don’t post that picture all over the place without their permission. We will sit and find someone drunk or sleep or whatever, & the first thing we wanna do is record & upload it.

Then, most of the folks who were at that incident, wanted to be the one to say that they “broke” the story, but what’s gained in doing this? You share a story ahead of everyone else. Then what? You don’t get any publicity coins or money. You’re not a media personality. You don’t claim a 15 minutes of fame. You just share something that shouldn’t be as personal as you made it. I think how I look @ it is if that person wasn’t the person in the car, but someone you personally have known all of your life & all that has happened is that you’re seeing this person’s body just laying lifeless in a car or on the ground or wherever people share these things that we don’t need to see.

I’m writing this to say that you don’t have to always “spill the tea”. Drink some water & sit down & hydrate your life. That’s what I leave with you today…don’t share every single thing that you see. Some of it may not even be deemed necessary to see in some instances. I think we forget that factor sometimes. Leave something to my imagination or surprise. As always, hope you enjoy reading & until next time, this is BT signing out.

Timeline of My Life (pt. 5)

 

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So 2013 is a year that will FOREVER stick with me. I haven’t really been talking about what has gone on personally with me through this journey, but I think this portion of the “My life” discussion has to be talked about because I know for a fact that there was a lot of questions and concerns that I had to encounter. The first & most important thing is that I literally dated FOUR people in one year. I didn’t take any time whatsoever to enjoy my supposed free time to myself. Self-reflection & self-care were two things that were highly missing from my routine. I won’t really give any specific details from A-Z, but I will talk about what I encountered from each experience (without saying any names). The first person I came across that year was at a weak time. I think I just thought it was a good opportunity to meet someone & give it a try. Well, we tried it, & it didn’t work. I was generating a pattern. This patter in 2013 is one of the WORST patterns I have ever generated in dating. Literally what I was doing was dating someone, watching it decline and then giving myself NO time to just relax & be to myself. So I dated the first person in January & February. Then in March, I met the next person, & we fell apart by about early May because we just didn’t work out. I’m probably giving the wrong months, but AGAIN, I’m not putting anyone in windows precisely for the sake of knowing that it would be my luck that someone may read this. Anyways, the second split ended over an improper reach. It was one of the most awkward closings I ever experienced. Then again, there was something I have learned over the last few years, which I’ll share NOW…CHEMISTRY AND VIBES ARE KEY!!! You’ll see why in a moment. So after the reach that ended the madness, I happened to find someone that I truly thought was “the one”, & that’s not just me saying it. I truly felt it. We had an excellent vibe and chemistry. The problem is that these energies were shared with someone else that I had to silently compete with. That was a HUGE challenge for me. I think what was tough is that I kinda saw this coming. Well, August arrived & the split happened. that was number 3 for those wondering. Then, in late August going into September, I met someone who I would never expect to impact me the way they did. The simplest way to put it is that I put myself in a bad position. If you have read my blog Domestic Violence, then you can get more information as to what happened with the 4th person I was involved with back in 2013. Basically, this forced me to truly do things a little different. I have heard the term when people say that you wanna watch how you move. NOW, I realize what that means. I even had to recently thank someone for some decisions that I messed up with. Anyways, I ended up being out of work and truly trying to start over.

Before I continue, I will tell you that I am kinda coasting past this portion of my life based on me being cool with being transparent, but also not saying or sharing the wrong pieces of information that could impact me in the long haul. That was something I was forced to learn very early. It’s never anything wrong with being true to who you are. You have to know sometimes all realness doesn’t have to be shared.

So, I ended up getting put in a position where I was forced to start over. I think that things for me really are meant to happen in 3’s. This was point 2 that I was forced to start over. Luckily, I was able to bounce back & get a job and get back on my feet. I then worked for another company, & was there for a few years.

I’m reaching the current point & I’m not shortening the story, but I’m just telling you what went down. I had a few various roles in my previous position, which worked out in their respective time. The last one was able to teach me that I had reached my turning point. Touching the turning point was one thing, but I think that the results from it forced me into my 3rd reset. This reset made me do something that I would have never expect to do…learn how to truly meditate and work to remain at peace. I did find a job after being let go from the company, but due to traveling and chemistry, it wasn’t the best place to be. Shockingly, I have now reached a place I would have never expected, but the key part is that I’m here. To some, I’m back. To others, I’m just in the mix. All I’m working on is being a greater person for my personal future.

This will be my closing for this series. This wasn’t very difficult. I have a pretty good amount of information that was shared. I didn’t go too far ahead of myself with what to provide for the readers. I just wanted to kinda lead you all to the here & now along with what’s ahead. I am keeping inspirational boards. I’ve worked on my vision board & had a few personal snags in my life that just happened. Sometimes, things are in your control that you eventually maintain control of without knowing it. I just hope that the blog continues, the writing flows & my life just pieces together. As always, this is BT signing out. This concludes our story of my life. Until next time, take care.

Timeline of My Life (pt. 4)

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So we’re at my senior year of high school. I had my visions of various schools & places I wanted to go, but thanks to my minimal effort, there weren’t any schools knocking down my door to get me into college. I also didn’t have any true scholarships helping me to pay for school. I was given an offer to attend North Carolina A&T, only to find out that they had actually had given the letter to the wrong Bryan (if that wasn’t a slight level of frustration). I can recall the dream school that I wanted to attend (did get to visit a couple of colleges thanks to the Boys & Girls Club) was Virginia Tech. Luckily, I applied the wrong year, because it was the same year that Michael Vick was a freshman & had a breakout year. Going back to high school, I forgot to mention that a major accolade that I earned was the 1999 Youth of the Year at the club. Almost gave names. My bad. Focus. Well, I did do volunteer work there (and still do so to this day). I was unable to bring back to the Award for the state back when I went for it, but I did enjoy the experience as a whole. I went through dating (which was a huge transition in my life). Anyways, the relationship wasn’t very long & it was a challenge that I’m still working on to this day regarding communication and how to approach a conversation with women who I look to date. Well, I ended up attending community college locally for a few years, & my send year of community college, one of the most tragic incidents happened…September 11. I really don’t give many conversations about that day, because it’s a moment that people can truly remember where they were or what they were doing. I recall having to take an exam that day, & being picked up from school, which led to me getting Jay-Z’s Blueprint album. Yes, I’m that guy. I truly know that college was a challenging piece of life for me at the time. I went to community college & then went on to technical college, where my true “branding” began. I found other nerds who pushed me along with helping me get into a true form of being me. While attending community college, I learned and got into a groove of driving. I had taken a driving school course & got my learner’s permit. My challenge with driving when I was young was the comfort. Obviously, everyone runs into that challenge of merging onto the highway, but this moment in my life will ALWAYS stand out. I had been driving through the city daily to go to and from school. I had my route down to a science, & it was no major issue. One day I got out of class & decided to take the highway. I had mixed emotions but gained the power & the strength to go ahead & do it. That was my personal establishment & level of comfort/discomfort with the highway. So, I did community college for a few years, & found what I considered a school that felt like home. I attended a technical college & met a lot of people (some of whom I still talk to currently). I was able to get my Associates in Web Design along with my Bachelor’s in Network Management. Not many people know this about me, but I am able to take a computer apart, run various programs involving HTML, design various logos and artwork (been a while, but I’m pretty good at it), & able to manage a network for a major business (if provided the opportunity). The experience was always my challenge. It’s not an excuse, but it’s key to the equation. Once I finished school, I was kinda in-between with employment plans, but I knew that I was looking to pursue my next job. The following year, I then moved into my apartment & started to get into the “on my own” stint. It wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t the greatest. I had a good place of employment that helped me in managing it a lot better than I realized. I worked a few jobs along the way. Then a tough wall hit…I ended up being kicked out of my apartment. That was a tough experience. I had even hit a low of all lows. So, basically, I lost my job, which led to losing my apartment, which forced me to start over. I had no clue what I would be doing. I did a few odd end jobs just to keep myself above water. I somehow got back to the hospital, which led me to get my current vehicle. The only reason I got a new car was due to my previous car not giving or showing me any love whatsoever. It just died on me after picking up lunch, which was a hard feeling. Fast-forwarding briefly, I still have the vehicle & am almost complete in making monthly payments, which feels good. Returning to my life, I got back to the hospital (had previously worked there before if you go back), but I made a decision that would impact me and lead to a huge transition within my life and most of all my future.

Timeline of My life…(pt. 3)

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And now we get to the point of life where more change hit me than a little bit, but it’s all been able to benefit me on multiple levels. I can come into this from multiple angles. The quickest & simplest way to start is that I went out of the country. A few years before that, I did do some traveling to a couple of other states, but my 9th-grade year was my biggest & most significant travel. Bryan went to Pescara, Italy for a foreign exchange. I can say that this experience is something that not everyone can say they have encountered. I really didn’t know what to expect. I was able to participate in this thanks to donations, fundraisers, & oddly enough, taking Italian my freshman year. I will say that the term culture shock is an understatement. I think that we sometimes don’t know what to expect in our lives, & when I went to Italy, I really didn’t have a clue what to expect. Luckily one of my longtime friends went along with a friend I made thanks to middle school & primarily high school. We were literally like the 3 amigos. All of our personalities were totally different, but we were a good group together. I skipped over a key piece from middle school. I made a friend who I was friends with for a couple of years, & we had a good bond. I haven’t talked to him in the past 5 or so years. I know why we are no longer friends, but I will hold off on going into that since we’re not to that point yet (well we are, but it will tie in eventually). The Italy foreign exchange was a GREAT experience. I was actually gypped while in Rome. I got to eat a pizza that CHALLENGED me. It was a little rough not knowing the language fully, but I still was able to enjoy the trip & the experience. It was my first (and oddly most recent) plane ride. The challenge was when I got homesick. It got simple with time. Many of you who may not know much about a foreign exchange based on you staying with someone’s family & then that person stays with you. Well, I did experience that, & it was different being an only child, but it wasn’t a massive difference. The largest culture adjustment is when the Italians had a tradition of sitting in each other’s laps if there weren’t enough seats. The teachers and even the principal wasn’t even sure what to do. A piece of being in Italy that STILL stands out to me is how the city shuts down for lunch. If we had that opportunity here in the states, there would be much less stress on people. That’s just my personal opinion.

I feel like I’ve spent the majority of this section on Italy, but there were some other things that happened in high school. I did play in the band my freshman year, which introduced me to the tenor saxophone. Traveling was a joy in itself. I got quite a few accolades while in high school. I was starting to come into my form of who I was while in high school. I became a writer my senior year of high school. My English teacher was very transparent in my opinion. She would allow us to write on whatever we wanted to write about while I was in school. Basically, I would write about the topic that was listed on the board & then writes my own personal tangent (aka journaling) during the time period of writing. I got to play basketball & learn basketball a little while in high school. Before you ask, no I didn’t play for my high school. The closest moment I had was throwing a no-look pass & maybe hitting a 3-pointer in the game we were playing. I wasn’t the most athletic as a kid. I also didn’t really put my effort towards that avenue. I knew & accepted something that many people have been aware of with me 17+ years later…I was a nerd.

This will be a separate paragraph because I want to bring something to everyone’s attention. I wasn’t a smartass nerd. I was just someone who knew how to be tactful in what I said or what I did. Grade-wise, I didn’t have the greatest of grades. I didn’t do enough to get by either. I just was usually used to staying in the simple smart radar. I didn’t want it to be known that I was smart, but it would work out to my advantage as I get older. I loved talking sports when I was a kid. I was also trying to establish my sports teams that I became a fan of. I was (and still am) a fan of these teams:

What was funny is that no one really could figure out where or how these teams came to life. Well, I’ll explain since we’re here. The Panthers were a new up & coming team, & I wasn’t too much of joining bandwagons (Steelers, Redskins, Cowboys, etc.). I didn’t knock any fans of those teams. The Panthers & Jaguars both came in the league the same year, & Carolina became my option. The AC Milan love generated thanks to going to Italy (MILAN FOR LIFE). Kentucky was a team I kept up with thanks to Jamal Mashburn and Tony Delk. They happened to win a championship when I was a freshman in high school as well as my junior year, so I saw their winning ways early. The Houston Rockets is STILL a funny one because I became a fan AFTER they won their back to back championships before Jordan returned. I had pretty poor timing. I was close to seeing the Rockets make it to the finals this year, but it wasn’t the best of runs when you look at it. Anyways, that’s the sports story & rundown. I literally shared this because you were guaranteed to see me write CHKM on my notebooks for quite some time.

I went to prom, which was a pretty chill experience. Not even gonna lie. I got a chance to kinda relax & say that I went. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but I did attend. Not long after, I graduated & went on to “school”. This was a pivotal decision, & I’ll explain why in part 4 (yeah I’m dangling it…plus I have written waaaay more words than I was supposed to for Part 3). Until next time…BT coming with lovely written content.